The Leadership Behind the Hospitality (Part 1)

Ownership, traditions, and not building the plane while it's flying — lessons from Unreasonable Hospitality

I finally read Will Guidara’s excellent book, Unreasonable Hospitality, and it took almost two-thirds of the book before I got to the examples I was expecting of how teams can go the extra mile to create extraordinary experiences for people. It wasn’t until page 202 that the insights I had been expecting emerged.

The wait was worth it.

The first 200 pages make it clear that Guidara’s ideas for executing this extraordinary level of hospitality actually live downstream from essential leadership. It’s not possible to get to the top echelon of service he describes without building towards it, carefully but deliberately over time. So this week, I thought I’d write about the leadership constructs that really connected with me, and next week I’ll come back to the tactics he describes to create Unreasonable Hospitality, and both the connections and implications for advancement teams.

Go slow to go fast

“We’re building the plane while flying it.” It’s the phrase I hear often as a consultant and the one I hate most because it’s usually how leaders describe never slowing down. I understand what this means in terms of having to make adjustments while still moving forward, but in reality it usually means chaos and leadership isn’t taking the time to make sure everyone is on the plane, and no one is left on the tarmac.

Everything is go-go-go, and it usually doesn’t work out very well.

Will talks about a realization that while the leadership at Eleven Madison Park was pushing hard to go from three to four Michelin stars, and the team was on board, he soon realized the pace was causing a meltdown he hadn’t anticipated. Everyone at the restaurant was so busy putting the patrons first that they forgot to take care of themselves.

This dynamic happens in the advancement field all the time. We’re so busy taking care of alumni and donors on nights and weekends after we’ve worked all day, too, planning those events, that self-care is often neglected.

He writes, “We encouraged them to find their oxygen and to take the time to breathe. Slowing down wasn’t just about nurturing them in the moment. It was about building a more solid foundation for the future, so that when we needed to speed up again (and we would, very soon) our minds and hearts were in top shape.” (pg. 158)

Of all the excellent concepts in the book that are important for creating a culture where next-level hospitality can thrive, this one stood out to me as the most important. It’s also something that engagement pros are really bad at. We’re always adding, and rarely subtracting. It’s incredibly important to build this muscle of slowing down in order to eventually gain speed again. Deconstruct in order to rebuild, but better.

Empower young staff to “own something”

Another concept from the book that I love is that Guidara bolds certain text containing a key point he wants to get across. On page 110, he writes (in bold), “Often, the perfect moment to give someone more responsibility is before they’re ready.”

He describes how he empowered his new team members to own important aspects of the restaurant during his time at Eleven Madison Park. He assigned ownership of all components of the restaurant’s coffee service to one person who was particularly knowledgeable of and passionate about it. He assigned beer to another person. Same with the linens and organizing the reservations office. Ownership of these tasks was offered to new team members as they began working in the restaurant.

He writes, “These ownership programs gave these motivated, creative people a project to engage with while they earned their stripes. And the investment of time and trust and education was almost always worth it, because when we mentored someone into full ownership, our jobs became easier over the long term.” pg. 108

In a typical alumni/advancement office, we tend to fold these opportunities into job descriptions and spread them across a program team. We also treat ownership as a reward for seniority rather than something that propels career growth. His idea of ownership is about a new hire who appears to have a knack for something taking on a task before clearly demonstrating readiness for it.

What could a young person have ownership over? For starters, I’d give someone ownership over a swag program and even something as big as owning the visiting-volunteer experience on campus, and they can decide how to build it and make it great.

New traditions for the team that meet a need

In our space, we tend to think of traditions as a events or symbols we honor and steward for our alumni and the broader university community. However, it’s rare for advancement teams to have a special tradition that allows the team members to feel seen and heard.

In Unreasonable Hospitality, Guidara describes how Thanksgiving became a special occasion not just for guests, but for the team that works at Eleven Madison Park. He writes that, “People who are gifted at hospitality tend to be sensitive. They notice everything, feel deeply, and care a lot. These are superpowers, though that tenderness can also make them a handful to manage.” (pg. 145)

My own experience with engagement pros is that they’re similar in nature to hospitality professionals and need that extra dedicated time along with something to look forward to. Often, advancement leaders tackle these challenges but without building a tradition for the staff that serves a purpose or fills a need. It’s usually a big employee appreciation event in the dining hall, but for everyone who works at the school. It’s a staff awards program that leadership starts, but the staff feels is forced and a bit of a drag.

I think alumni leaders have an opportunity to build special moments for the staff into the traditions that they construct for alumni and donors; maybe it’s right before or right after reunions or alumni weekend. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does need to be something that the team can genuinely look forward to.

I’m just scratching the surface with the great leadership lessons in Unreasonable Hospitality. More next week!

I’d love your thoughts and examples of how you or your leaders have worked to create a culture that models or resembles the one at Eleven Madison Park described in the book. If you’ve read the book, what leadership lessons stand out to you?

(Also, a big thanks to Matt Brandon at William & Mary for sending me a copy of Unreasonable Hospitality and for the homework assignment to read it and bring some ideas back to the team later in August.)

About the next Keynote

On Monday I’ll be publishing my interview with Kalyan Varma, the Co-Founder & CEO of Almabase. We discuss the challenges that face engagement leaders from an operational perspective, and Kalyan will share his view on some of the roadblocks that cause teams to stumble from a technology standpoint. I’ve known Kalyan, and I’m psyched to have him on the Keynote.

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Upcoming Member Events

Agora

Behind the Scenes of a Signature Alumni Event: Lessons from the Bentley Alumni Conference

A great alumni conference can do more than bring people together — it can create the conditions for relationships to grow, alumni expertise to strengthen the institution, and university priorities to become meaningful and relevant to graduates.

In this Agora, Allison Kerivan, Executive Director of Advancement Relations, will take attendees behind the scenes of the Bentley Alumni Conference, the university’s flagship professional development and networking experience, and share how it has evolved into a strategic platform for alumni engagement and donor cultivation.

Date: Thursday, September 3 from 12 - 1 pm

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Faculty-in-Residence

For six weeks beginning August 17 - September 25, Speaking Engagement welcomes Mallory Erickson — executive coach, creator and host of the What the Fundraising podcast, and author of the book by the same name — as our inaugural resident. We’ll have a final live Symposium event for members on September 23.